The Code of The Hat (Sept 1997)


  1. The Pact of The Hat
  2. Definitions
  3. Chalet Rules
  4. Winning, the Whip and Roadie
  5. Hatter Names
  6. Drinking and Forfeit Drinks
  7. Hatter's Games
  8. Tour Games
  9. Tour Merchandising
  10. Rule Invention, Adaptation and Dispute Resolution

1.0 The Pact of The Hat

1.1 Any new Hatter shall be required to don a Robin Hood hat and intone the Pact of The Hat as set out in paragraph 1.2, witnessed by at least three other Hatters.

1.2 The Pact of The Hat is as follows:-
"I (insert Hatter Name) do solemnly declare to fully abide by the Code of The Hat and not to reveal any information about activities of myself or other Hatters during a CP Tour weekend or other Hatter Event which could be embarrassing, libellous, slanderous or in any other way damaging to the other Hatters' reputations. In other words, I will play by the rules and keep my fucking trap shut."

2.0 Definitions

"Being Rude" Any Hatter leaving a place where Forfeit Drinks and/or Whip Round Drinks have been purchased for or by that Hatter and have been deliberately not consumed by him, either having been afforded Reasonable Drinking Time by the other Hatters or through having to comply with the requirements of the Landlord, shall be deemed to be Being Rude.

"Best Hatter" The reigning champion Hatter from the previous CP Tour for the full weekend irrespective of the new Best Hatter provisions.

"Best Full Hatter" The reigning champion Hatter from the previous Full CP Tour.

"Chalet" a.k.a Tour HQ - the chalet(s) allocated by Center Parcs management to the Hatters for the duration of a CP Tour.

"CP Tour" Any formally organised Hatter visit to Center Parcs or any other similar institution either in the United Kingdom or abroad.

"CP Closing Time" Unless otherwise stated, closing time for collecting games, scoring of points and so on shall be 20.00 on the Sunday evening.

"Cvnt" Person bearing more than a passing resemblance to John Grimes in appearance, character or actions.

"Forfeit Drink" A measure of alcohol, normally one half pint of the Hatter's preferred beer, to be used in all contexts where Forfeit Drinks are appropriate. Note that forfeits may be subject to change or formal definition by vote in accordance with the dispute resolution and rule adaptation clauses in Chapter 10.

"Full CP Tour" CP Tour usually held in late April or early May commemorating the anniversary of the first CP Tour held to mark the occasion of Myk Smith's stag weekend. In exceptional circumstances, there may be two full tours during any one year.

"Game" Any event scoring points towards the overall total for the CP Tour.

"Half CP Tour" A CP Tour held at any other time of year in addition to the Full CP Tour.

"Hatter" Fully sworn in and officially recognised member of the Pact of The Hat.

"Hatter Event" Any gathering of at least four Hatters.

"Hatter Name(s)" The name(s) attributed by Hatters to other Hatters for the duration of that or any other CP Tour or other Hatter Event.

"Landlord" License Holder or Person representing the License Holder on premises licensed to sell alcoholic drinks.

"Majority" A clear majority in any vote on any subject governed by these rules.

"Member of the public. Any member of the general public not previously known by any Hatter, and not known by any Hatter for longer than three minutes.

"Non-Preferred Beer. Opposite of preferred beer.

"Preferred Beer" The choice of lager or bitter as the Hatter's preferred beer for use during Games and in the consumption of Forfeit Drinks shall be made by each Hatter at the beginning of every CP Tour for use without amendment throughout the weekend.

"Reasonable Drinking Time" Reasonable Drinking Time for Forfeit Drinks in addition to Whip Round Drinks shall be five minutes.

"Roadie" The trophy for the time being awarded to the Best Hatter on Full CP Tours.

"Whip" The current pooled funds of Hatters for the purchase of any bona fide Whip funded expenses. The Whip is to be held in the Whip Wallet. The Whip will be administered under the rules of Chapter 4.

"Whip Round" Any round purchased from any licensed premises using the Whip.

"Whip Round Drink. Any drink purchased as part of a Whip Round

"Whip Wallet" The current formally agreed container for the purposes of holding the Whip.

3.0 Chalet

3.1 On arrival at the Chalet, Hatters shall decide on sleeping arrangements in the time honoured organised and sophisticated manner of first come first served. Physical violence, bloodshed and injury are an expected part of the process.

3.2 On arrival at the Chalet, the light above the table shall have its cord knotted to ensure it is at a sensible height and doesn't twat everyone on the head for the whole weekend.

3.3 On arrival at the Chalet, the smoke detector is to be disconnected and silenced.

3.4 Shortly after arrival at the Chalet, all Tour HQ posters shall be displayed and other Tour merchandising distributed by the Best Hatter.

3.5 All Hatters are expected to contribute towards normal duties of cooking breakfast, washing up, beverage preparation, bacon sandwich making and clearing up on departure. There will be no formal rota but any Hatter who is deemed to be shirking under the provisions of Chapter 10 shall be subject to two Forfeit Drinks (subject to any weekend duty forfeits incurred during Hatter games).

3.6 The Best Hatter shall declare the contents of the whip at the commencement of any CP Tour. At this time, Hatters who have incurred expenses which should be jointly paid for shall declare them and the Best Hatter shall be responsible for collecting Whip money and discharging Whip debts to all Hatters.

3.7 Following the Sprainpotting Tour, any Hatter throwing eggs in the Chalet will incur two Forfeit Drinks per egg he throws.

3.8 Stealing of other Hatters property in the Chalet is strictly prohibited and shall be punished by an additional instant contribution to the Whip of £50 per Hatter by said thieving bastard Hatter(s). It should be noted that stealing shall not include hiding Hatters' shoes in the freezer or other similar jolly japes, but stealing shall include the taking of any items accumulated by Hatters during collecting Games.

3.9 Inducement of any non-Hatter(s) to steal for the benefit of the inducing Hatter(s) shall be punished as stealing.

3.10 Any Hatter found in possession of a camera or video recorder shall be subject to 10 Forfeit Drinks and shall be required to ceremoniously burn any film or video tape contained in it. The only allowable exception to this is any such equipment connected with the Hatter's employment in which case the offending instrument should be removed immediately to the car the offending Hatter travelled to the CP Tour in for the remainder of the CP Tour. The Hatter will still get 10 Forfeit Drinks but will not have to burn any medium containing images relating to his business unless he has been witnessed capturing images of the CP Tour, when he shall have to burn the medium anyway.

3.11 For a magic reason lost in the annals of time No Shag shall book the chalet. All Hatters shall have 14 days from No Shag requiring payment from them by letter, telephone, e-mail, in person avec cricket bat etc. Any Hatter not paying shall get four forfeits.

4.0 Winning, The Whip and Roadie

4.1 The Best Hatter at the end of any CP Tour shall be the Hatter with the highest aggregate points score from all Games at the agreed finish time for point accumulation.

4.2 The Best Hatter shall receive any Tour Prize created for that CP Tour for his retention.

4.3 The Best Hatter on a Full CP Tour shall become the Best Full Hatter and be the proud keeper of Roadie. The Best Full Hatter shall be required to display Roadie in a prominent place in the main lounge of his home at all times during the period until the next Full CP Tour, save when Roadie is taken by the Best Full Hatter on any Half CP Tours.

4.4 The new Best Full Hatter's name shall be added to the Roadie Roll of Honour (the little label sewn into him).

4.5 The Best Full Hatter shall bring Roadie to any CP Tour but shall retain Roadie after any Half CP Tours until the next Full CP Tour. Failure to bring Roadie to any CP Tour by his current keeper shall be punishable by 10 Forfeit Drinks, an instant additional contribution of £25 to the Whip and the purchase from the Best Full Hatter's own funds of a suitable substitute for display purposes during the CP Tour. To avoid any substitute Roadie confusion, the substitute is to be ceremoniously burned at the end of the CP Tour.

4.6 The Best Hatter will continue duties as keeper of the Whip until completion of the current CP Tour, regardless of the identity of the new Best Hatter.

4.7 The Best Hatter shall be the keeper of the Whip. He shall be responsible for the ordering and purchase of any bona fide Whip funded expenses and for ensuring sufficient funds are held in the Whip.

4.8 Whip funds are to be contained in the Whip Wallet. At the end of any CP Tour, the Whip Wallet and contents are passed to the new Best Hatter who is to retain the Whip Wallet and Whip until commencing keeper of the Whip duties at the next CP Tour.

4.9 At any time when the Whip is becoming depleted, the Best Hatter shall make a Whip call on all Hatters for a reasonable specified amount to be paid into the Whip.

4.10 No IOUs to the Whip shall be tolerated. Any Hatter finding themselves financially embarrassed shall beg or borrow from another Hatter, at whatever interest rate or forfeit demand the lender requires to ensure the borrowing Hatter may honour his Whip obligations.

4.11 At the end of any CP Tour, the new Best Hatter shall nominate the location of the next CP Tour.

4.12 The new Best Hatter shall be responsible for merchandising for the next CP Tour in accordance with Chapter 9.

5.0 Hatter Names

5.1 At the commencement of any CP Tour or other Hatter Event, the rules and regulations concerning the use of Hatter names shall be agreed.

5.2 The standard rules only are reflected in the Code of The Hat.

5.3 Standard Hatter Names are currently (in alphabetical order):- Ezza (aka Eric the Viking, Eric or Ez), FB (aka Fat Bloke), Grunt (aka Cvnt, Waste of Oxygen, Wanker, Arse Wipe, Shit Head, Turd Face, Bollock Chops, fuckwit, etc etc), No Shag (aka NS), Pirate (aka Pirate Captain Blood), Pocahontus (aka Pokey), Robbie (aka Robbie From Take That, RFTT, Rob), Sheriff (aka Rif)

5.4 Once formal Hatter Names have been agreed at the beginning of the CP Tour, any Hatter referring to any other Hatter by any other name (other than general swear words, nouns and adjectives for insult purposes) or incurring any other breach of the Hatter Name rules shall be subject to one Forfeit Drink per mistake.

5.5 Hatter Names may be changed in accordance with the voting rules in Chapter 10.

6.0 Drinking and Forfeit Drinks

6.1 The Best Hatter shall purchase a Whip Round at any time of his choosing providing he has finished all his own Whip Round Drinks or when a clear majority of Hatters require him to purchase a Whip Round or when all Hatters with no Forfeit Drinks to consume have finished their Whip Round Drinks and demand another Whip Round Drink.

6.2 In any Whip Round, every Hatter MUST order a drink equivalent in content to one pint of beer (eg a double measure of spirit, two glasses of wine), save for the conditions under Rules 6.3, 6.4 and 6.12.

6.3 At any time after 02:00 hours and before 14:00 hours on any CP Tour day, Hatters may opt for a soft drink, a shandy or even a half pint from the Whip Round.

6.4 Any Forfeit Drinks a Hatter has to consume shall be purchased by the Hatter incurring the Forfeit Drink from his own funds and consumed before any further Whip Round Drinks may be consumed by that Hatter.

6.5 If a Hatter incurs a Forfeit Drink part way through a Whip Round Drink, he must consume all of his Forfeit Drink before re-commencing his Whip Round Drink(s).

6.6 Returning to the Chalet time for evening drinking shall only be reached once the Landlord has been persuaded to say:

"Time gentlemen please. Ain't you got no 'omes to go to!"

after Last Orders and any drinking up time permitted by the Landlord.

6.7 If, at the time the when the Hatters leave the place where Forfeit Drinks and/or Whip Round Drinks have been being consumed, any Hatter(s) is Being Rude, the offending Hatter(s) shall instantly contribute four times the roughly estimated purchase value of the total number of non-soft Whip Round Drinks and Forfeit Drinks left deliberately not consumed by said Hatter(s) to the Whip and receive an additional Forfeit Drink(s) equal to those left to carry forward to the next session.

6.8 On all occasions other than closing time at the end of the evening when drinking up time shall be that permitted by the Landlord, Reasonable Drinking Time shall be permitted to any Hatter being required to consume Forfeit Drinks in addition to Whip Round Drinks. The time shall start from the moment when all Hatters with no Forfeit Drinks to consume have finished their Whip Round Drinks and shall be calculated for each session as follows from the moment the Best Hatter says

"I think some Hatters may be Being Rude"

6.9 The Best Hatter shall be required to state "I think some Hatters may be Being Rude" when all Hatters without Forfeit Drinks have finished their Whip Rounds, even if the Best Hatter has Forfeit Drinks of his own to consume. The Best Hatter is then responsible for timing Reasonable Drinking Time, and collecting any fines for the Whip. No further Whip Rounds may be purchased during that session once Reasonable Drinking Time has begun.

6.10 Any Hatter Being Rude and leaving any Forfeit Drinks deliberately not consumed shall be deemed not to have discharged his obligation to consume Forfeit Drinks and shall carry the total number of his deliberately not consumed Forfeit Drinks forward to the next session, plus the additional Forfeit Drink for Being Rude.

6.11 A Hatter with any Forfeit beer on the table in front of him to consume may, in the interest of avoiding incurring additional Forfeit Drinks and not wasting whip money and perfectly good beer, simply pay a fine of approximately twice the value of his preferred beer (or approximately twice the cost of a special drink in a special drinks round) into the Whip at the time the Whip Round is called. Thus any Hatter may choose to avoid a Whip Round by paying about an extra £4 to the whip at the time the Whip Round is called and concentrate on eliminating his Forfeit Drinks. Any Hatter undertaking such action will have to comply with Whip calls for more money as normal.

6.12 At any time prior to the Best Hatter saying "I think some Hatters may be Being Rude" a Hatter may buy out any Forfeit Drinks or Whip Round Drinks purchased and waiting to be consumed by him by paying approximately three times the total original purchase price of the Whip Round Drinks, Forfeit Drinks and special drinks round drinks he chooses into the Whip. Any drinks converted for cash in this way do not count towards a Hatter Being Rude. Thus, a Hatter may choose to clear his slate by buying out all Whip Round Drinks and Forfeit Drinks he has purchased but yet to consume to avoid carrying forward Forfeit Drinks to the next session and picking up another Forfeit Drink. It's really up to the Hatter but at £6 into the Whip for every pint they leave behind, it's an expensive way out, only slightly cheaper than Being Rude.

6.13 No Hatter shall under any circumstances take beer to the toilet with them, tip beer into plants or ponds or otherwise try and avoid drinking Whip Round Drinks, Forfeit Drinks or special round drinks they are required to consume. Any Hatter caught doing such a thing shall receive a fine of double the amount of the same drink they were disposing of as a Forfeit Drink.

6.14 Any Hatter with more than 3 Forfeit Drinks to consume at the time of departure who has to drive that day may carry forward those Forfeit Drinks to the next CP Tour he attends without additional penalty for Being Rude. The Best Hatter shall be required to record such carry forwards and store the evidence in the Whip Wallet.

6.15 Any Hatter not required to drive but Being Rude at the time of departure shall have any Forfeit Drinks outstanding (i.e. not consumed) by the time the CP Tour closes quadrupled for the commencement of the next CP Tour he attends. The Best Hatter shall be required to record such carry forwards and store the evidence in the Whip Wallet.

7.0 Hatter's Games

7.1 Each Hatter shall be required to invent a Game for every CP Tour he attends.

7.2 Hatter's Games should attempt to be as original as possible. They may be based on other games or centred around existing board games but they must have original elements within them and have a satisfactory degree of thought and preparation within them. Disputes shall be resolved in accordance with Chapter 10 and case law will inevitably develop around what constitutes an original Game, but for the time being, the following guidance may be offered:-

7.3 Any Hatter's Game failing to be judged original enough will require an immediate £10 contribution to the whip and the Hatter whose Game it is shall suffer two Forfeit Drinks.

7.4 Each Hatter must bring sufficient copies of typed rules to their Game to provide one set for each other Hatter and one set for display purposes.

7.5 Any Hatter's Game may include any rules they like, which may supersede the standard rules for the duration of the Game or for the ongoing individual Hatter forfeits (alcoholic or otherwise) arising out of any Game.

7.6 No vote under Chapter 10 of the Code of The Hat may change any rules to any Hatter's own Game made clear before the rule freeze either in the typed rules or through clarification.

7.7 Shortly after arrival, all Hatters shall distribute their Game's rules to all other Hatters for reading and post a master copy on the Chalet wall. After reading, points of clarification may be sought by other Hatters on the rules to any Hatter's Game, and the Hatter whose Game it is may clarify by example or make other rules as a result of this process.

7.8 Any Hatter arriving without both a Game and sufficient copies of typed rules shall immediately be required to contribute £25 to the Whip, incur two Forfeit Drinks and will have to make up a game and still provide a copy of the rules for every Hatter and one for display purposes.

7.9 Any Hatter who brings a Game but insufficient copies of typed rules shall immediately be required to contribute £10 to the Whip incur one Forfeit Drink and will still have to provide a copy of the rules for every Hatter and one for display purposes.

7.10 Once all Hatters are satisfied they understand the rules to a Game, following a presentation of the game and explanation of the rules by the Hatter whose Game it is, a rule freeze shall be called for that game.

7.11 After the rule freeze, any disputes arising before, during or after the playing of the Game shall be dealt with under the provisions of Chapter 10.

7.12 Each Hatter may elect to play his Game at any time from the rule freeze until 20:00 on the last night of the CP Tour, the only limiting factor being that two non-collecting games may not be under way at once.

7.13 Collecting Games, unless otherwise specified will complete at 20:00 on the last night of the CP Tour.

7.14 Unless otherwise specified, turns in Games will be from youngest to oldest, youngest first.

7.15 No Hatters can vary the number of points scored for the places on their Game. This rule is incapable of amendment under Chapter 10. Rules 7.16, 7.17 and 7.18 only define the points scoring system.

7.16 Points shall be awarded on completion of the Game. The lowest points scorer for each Game shall receive a number of points equal to the number of Hatters on the CP Tour, with each next best score getting one less point down to last place who shall get 1 point.

7.17 A tie of scores in a Game shall mean each Hatter gets the points of the highest tied place. Eg on a tour with six Hatters, three Hatters come second in a Game so the winner gets 6 points, those Hatters tying for second all get 5 points and the next best score gets 2, the loser getting 1.

7.18 If a Fil Rouge is agreed, it will score double points.

7.19 Any Hatter may call a vote to establish whether or not the other Hatters want to play that Hatter's Game or leave it due to excuses like lack of time or truly heroic excesses of alcohol already consumed prior to yet another drinking Game.

7.20 All Hatter's shall be required to check their own equipment in any Hatter's Game before the commencement of the game and each round if applicable. Equipment failure due to no checking shall be the responsibility of the Hatter who should have checked his own equipment and the Hatter will be responsible for changing the equipment (if available) or playing on with faulty equipment. No equipment change can take longer than two minutes and the Hatter shall have to play on with faulty equipment if the time limit is expired before the equipment can be changed.

8.0 Tour Games

8.1 At any time the Hatters may vote to include an activity as a scoring Tour Game towards the points to determine Best Hatter. The vote must be by a clear majority.

8.2 Rules for the Tour Game are to be clearly agreed before the Game commences and may not be varied, even by vote, during or after the Game except for clarification on disputes which shall be resolved as set out in Chapter 10.

8.3 All Tour Games shall be scored in accordance with the scoring rules under Chapter 7

8.4 Every CP Tour shall require Crazy Golf to be played as a Tour Game. Standard rules for Crazy Golf are as follows:-

8.4.1 Normal Crazy Golf rules apply except as varied below.

8.4.2 Turns shall be youngest to oldest, youngest starting on the first hole. On each successive hole, the next youngest person shall start until all Hatters have started when the youngest shall start again.

8.4.3 If any Hatter's ball ends behind the tee for the hole he is playing at any point, that Hatter may choose to play the rest of the hole "tackle out", take the maximum permitted number of shots as his score or to have a two Forfeit Drink penalty. Behind the tee shall not normally be considered out of bounds unless the ball has left the course.

8.4.4 The maximum permitted number of shots on any hole shall be 25.

8.4.5 Any Hatter whose ball goes out of bounds shall score the maximum permitted number of shots for that hole.

8.4.6 Any Hatter who in any way whatsoever interferes with another Hatter's ball whilst it is in play other than through contact of golf balls in playing a legitimate shot shall score the maximum permitted number of shots for that hole. For the avoidance of doubt, this shall include being in the way of a shot deliberately aimed at another Hatter.

8.4.7 A shot at another Hatter where the ball strikes the Hatter and goes immediately out of bounds with no further interference shall result in the maximum permitted number of shots for that hole for both Hatters.

8.4.8 Any Hatter who receives the maximum permitted shot number for any hole, shall immediately stop playing that hole.

8.5 Any Hatter failing to go in swimming for at least five minutes per calendar day, including the first and last days of the CP Tour shall incur two Forfeit Drinks for each day they do not swim.

8.6 The Word Tick rules shall apply to every CP Tour and are set out below:-

8.6.1 Any Hatter making a mistake over the pronunciation of any word or suffering from mouth control failure in trying to speak a word, whereby they fail to actually say any known word properly shall receive the Word Tick 1 badge to wear.

8.6.2 If the Hatter is a jammy git, they will manage to say a wrong word and even though their sentance makes no sense at all they will not progress along the Tick path.

8.6.3 A Hatter who subsequently makes a mistake takes over the Word Tick 1 badge.

8.6.4 If the Hatter wearing Word Tick1 makes another speech error constituting a tick, he receives the Word Tick 2 badge.

8.6.5 If a Hatter who is on Word Tick 2 makes yet another error, he gets the "My Tosserness Knows No Bounds!" badge to wear until someone else gets to Tick 3, and that Hatter also suffers two Forfeit Drinks.

8.7 All Hatter's shall be required to check their own equipment in any Tour Game before the commencement of the game and each round if applicable. Equipment failure due to no checking shall be the responsibility of the Hatter who should have checked his own equipment and the Hatter will be responsible for changing the equipment (if available)or playing on with faulty equipment. No equipment change can take longer than two minutes and the Hatter shall have to play on with faulty equipment if the time limit is expired before the equipment can be changed.

9.0 Tour Merchandising

9.1 The new Best Hatter will be responsible for provision of tour merchandising for the next CP Tour.

9.2 The Best Hatter may plan tour merchandising with any number of the remaining Hatters if he so wishes, and other Hatters may assist to any extent in the preparation of the merchandising.

9.3 The minimal tour merchandising considered acceptable shall be:

9.4 Inadequate merchandising shall be punishable by vote depending on how poor it is. All Hatters other than the Best Hatter get to vote on the Best Hatter's fate if merchandising is sub-standard.

9.5 Reasonable costs associated with tour merchandising shall be covered by the Whip, but all Hatters should be consulted for prior approval if costs are likely to exceed £20 per Hatter.

10.0 Rule Invention, Adaptation and Dispute Resolution

10.1 Generally, there shall be no changes to the rules of a Game which has commenced unless they are changes to existing rules or new rules are necessary to clarify and area of potential ambiguity or to rectify a necessary omission to the rules. Eg in Crazy Golf, we cannot agree at the end of hole 8 that Pirate should have ten times his score on the next hole because he is winning, but there could be clarification on the rules if No Shag threw his club at a passing sparrow which promptly died and fell out of the sky landing on Fat Bloke's ball and knocking it out of bounds.

10.2 Each Hatter shall give an overview of his game's rules immediately before play commences. Any Hatter spotting a loophole in the rules or other error or omission in another Hatter's game (not his own) shall receive minus one forfeit from their current forfeit tally or one free forfeit in future if they have none at the time of pointing out the omission or error.

10.3 At this point, once any changes have been made under rule 10.2 the "rule freeze" for the Hatter's game will come into effect.

10.4 Under no circumstances can any Hatter make changes or additions to the rules agreed before the Game commenced for Tour Games or before the rule freeze for Hatter Games, unless it is for the purposes of clarity or to rectify omissions planned as part of the original Game and discussed beforehand.

10.5 If a situation then arises during play for which there is no rule in a Hatter's game, the Hatter whose game it is shall incur a forfeit for each time an uncovered rule emerges. The Hatter whose game it is shall then write down in pen on his own rules any amendments necessary and immediately goes to Word Tick 2.

10.6 A Hatter's Game rules may not have a general rule covering the omission of any rules by the Hatter whose game it is.

10.7 No Hatters may have as part of the rules of their Game any procedures which differ from these procedures. Eg Robbie could not have a rule in his Game that "Robbie is always right".

10.8 In the event of any shortcomings being identified in the Code of The Hat, Tour Game rules or Hatters' Game rules, all Hatters shall try to agree a unanimous general ruling, including those Hatters who would be affected by the outcome of the rule determination.

10.9 If a unanimous view is reached on the required rule amendment, the Game shall proceed along the lines of the agreed ruling. Eric the Viking shall be responsible for updating the Code of The Hat if necessary prior to the next CP Tour.

10.10 In the event of no unanimous agreement being reached, either Hatter affected by the lack of clarity in the rules may apply for the dispute resolution procedure to be invoked by stating:-

"I am being a stroppy cvnt!"

10.11 There shall be a cost of one Forfeit Drink to the Hatter who invokes the dispute resolution.

10.12 In the event of the dispute continuing and each Hatter confirming that they do not wish to apply for dispute resolution, either the Best Hatter in the event of a Tour Game or the Hatter whose Game it is in the event of a Hatter Game or Erik the Viking in the event of a Code of The Hat dispute shall have full and final say in the outcome of the dispute, regardless of whether they are involved in the dispute.

10.13 In the event of a dispute resolution procedure being invoked, the remaining Hatters apart from the two in dispute must get together to fairly agree upon the dispute and if possible arrive at a unanimous verdict explaining their decision to the two disputing parties. For this to work, it has to be done fairly and reasons such as "well he was winning", "he fucked me over at Formula Fat Bloke", etc are clearly not justifiable.

10.14 If the non-disputing Hatters cannot reach a unanimous verdict in the dispute, they shall vote and if it is still a tie, the Best Hatter (Tour Game), the Hatter whose game it is (Hatter Game) or Eric the Viking (Code of The Hat) shall get a casting vote, unless he is involved in the dispute when he may nominate a Hatter to have a casting vote before the non-disputing Hatters discuss the dispute.

10.15 The losing Hatter shall have to abide by the ruling and shall also receive three Forfeit Drinks. The Hatter invoking the dispute still keeps their one Forfeit Drink even if they win the dispute.

10.16 Any Hatter heard or seen to gloat, winge, mention, refer to or otherwise bang on and on about a dispute resolution result shall receive a Forfeit Drink for each occasion upon which he refers to it. The only exception to this rule would be reference during a subsequent dispute resolution procedure to a previous dispute resolution as comparative case law in a different dispute resolution. Thus Sheriff saying "I would have won that game if you bastards hadn't voted against me" would get a Forfeit Drink unless this was part of the discussion under another dispute resolution.

10.17 In the event of any Hatter being heard using the motive of vengeance or personal gain as part of their argument during dispute resolution, that Hatter shall receive four Forfeit Drinks.

10.18 All Hatters will keep smiling, go home happy and live happily ever after, regardless of the outcome of a dispute.


PS The butler did it!